August 21st, 2014


Mindless Chatter

Have you ever felt that you need help, but you just don't know the first place to go or even where to start? I don't know what it is but I am starting to feel like I can't cope anymore. I mean sure I try and take my mind off of it by doing other things and keeping myself busy. But it's in those moments when I have to stop and take a break that it comes creeping out.

I just feel so angry lately because of stupid drama that should be over with already. But for 5yrs now it's been complete and utter drama and non-stop. One issue on top of another. And it seems like it's just meant to be endless.

I mean, I know leaving and getting out will help put and end to everything but how do you do that when you don't have any money to do so. If could get out of this state I would drop everything in a heartbeat and go. Hell, if I thought Ricky would let me move in with him I would be on my way to Kentucky in a heart beat. But he has enough issues right now. And the idea of becoming homeless in order to get out of this state doesn't appeal to me.

The summer was great, I had a temp job I could focus on and be out of the house 5 days a week. But being home everyday makes me feel ill. And I don't know if I can do that for much longer.

I just need a starting point. Just a small one would be a help.
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